Chelsea

Tue, 25 Dec 2007 22:37:56 GMT

http://www.kiva.org/

It is hard to know, sometimes, which organizations are the best to donate money to. But I really liked the idea of this site. Plus, it's not donating, it's loaning the money.

so... I have a boatload of money and if you have a favorite organization/cause/whatever, comment and maybe I will donate money to it.

p.s. Merry Christmas! My family got me socks, shoes, sweaters, a giraffe necklace, and learn Chinese CDs.
For my birthday I also got shoes and a sweater, and a turtle necklace.

Fri, 21 Sep 2007 17:37:02 GMT

I am a horrible person.

Wed, 08 Aug 2007 02:42:05 GMT

What was your favorite cartoon as a child?

This was mine:

It'd be cool if you watched it for me.

Life is beautiful.

Sun, 15 Jul 2007 04:50:41 GMT

Sat, 23 Jun 2007 15:45:18 GMT

http://www.duirwaighgallery.com/inspiration_heavensrejoice.htm

awww...

Sun, 20 May 2007 01:13:50 GMT

It's been a slow Saturday.

I fell in love again
all things go, all things go
drove to Chicago
all things know, all things know
we sold our clothes to the state
I don't mind, I don't mind
I made a lot of mistakes
in my mind, in my mind

you came to take us
all things go, all things go
to recreate us
all things grow, all things grow
we had our mindset
all things know, all things know
you had to find it
all things go, all things go

I drove to New York
in a van, with my friend
we slept in parking lots
I don't mind, I don't mind
I was in love with the place
in my mind, in my mind
I made a lot of mistakes
in my mind, in my mind

you came to take us
all things go, all things go
to recreate us
all things grow, all things grow
we had our mindset
all things know, all things know
you had to find it
all things go, all things go

if I was crying
in the van, with my friend
it was for freedom
from myself and from the land
I made a lot of mistakes
I made a lot of mistakes
I made a lot of mistakes
I made a lot of mistakes

you came to take us
all things go, all things go
to recreate us
all things grow, all things grow
we had our mindset
all things know, all things know
you had to find it
all things go, all things go

you came to take us
all things go, all things go
to recreate us
all things grow, all things grow
we had our mindset
(I made a lot of mistakes)
all things know, all things know
(I made a lot of mistakes)
you had to find it
(I made a lot of mistakes)
all things go, all things go
(I made a lot of mistakes)

Wed, 09 May 2007 14:09:35 GMT

Nostalgia.

From the greek word nostos, meaning homeward journey, and the suffix -algia which means pain or painful condition.

This morning I was in this quiet spot on campus I haven't been since last autumn. Rarely do I feel the -algia part as much as I did then.

I have learned a lot from classics class.

Wed, 02 May 2007 04:46:52 GMT

Today was a happy day for no particular reason.

Tue, 24 Apr 2007 05:09:44 GMT

I fell in love with the library yesterday.

I wandered in and couldn't leave. The folded paper crane among the books, the girl I talked to for hours, the maps, the books, piles of homework...

maybe we will have a happy life together, the library and I.

Mon, 26 Mar 2007 02:33:10 GMT

Africa was unbelievable.

I can't write about it; it's too overwhelming.
but here it goes...

There were a lot of things I didn't expect. I didn't expect everyone to be so poor, I didn't expect actual straw huts, I didn't expect all of the trash and dirt and poverty. I didn't expect goats roaming the streets, or mothers trying to give away their children to us.

The Senegalese stared at us, winked at me, waved, attempted to mug us, harassed us, talked to us, made friends, gave me gifts, hugged us, proposed to some girls.
We went hungry, we got dirty, there were no bathrooms, the bus broke down.

My favorite moments were going to the poorest and most remote villages. One was on the beach. The children from the village ran up to us and wanted to play. They loved having their picture taken and being video taped. I will post it sometime soon.
Young children there don't speak English. So if you see the video, it will be French with Arabic greetings. I loved speaking Wolof with them. I know basic phrases, and with kids, that is enough to have a connection.

I loved watching their lives. They are living too.
But. You can't help but wish for a better life for them.

The vendors in the markets are desperate for your money. They will do anything to sell you a craft or souvenir. Anything.

Lots of crazy stuff happened. I want to write about it later because I am tired now.

Wed, 14 Mar 2007 02:46:58 GMT

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zwFS69nA-1w

My favorite music video in the world.

blahblahblah, my life is unbelievable...
unbelievably bad.

Tue, 06 Mar 2007 17:08:59 GMT

I met you through a common friend in the attic of my parents' house.
Although I didn't know it then, I soon was finding out.
Oh, you are the roots that sleep beneath my feet and hold the earth in place.
Each time a faucet opens, words that are spoken. The water runs away.... and I hear your name. No, nothing has changed.

There was this book I read and loved. The story of a ship... that sailed around the world and found that nothing else exists
beyond his own two sails and wooden shell and what is held within. All else is sure to pass, we clutch and grasp, and debate what is truly permanent.
But when the wind starts to shift, there is no argument.

Now I sing and drink and sleep on floors and try hard not to be annoyed by all these people worrying about me.
So when I'm suffering through some awful drive, you occasionally cross my mind. It's my hidden hope that you are still among them. Well, are you? Oh, you are the roots that sleep beneath my feet and hold the earth in place. Each time a curtain opens, sunlight pours in and a lifetime melts away.
We share a name on some picturesque grave...

I am excited about the upcoming weeks. I have high hopes for Spring. Yesterday I wrote in my journal that I imagine long walks again, sunshine, and new life.
I sensed it in a moment!

Not only that, but I need it to be spring, soon. I need hope and warm weather and feeling that way I do in the spring.

10 days until I leave for Africa.

There are butterflies in my stomach and happiness in my heart, although not from Africa. Either I have a mild illness or this is something I've felt before...

Fri, 16 Feb 2007 20:32:03 GMT

"Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional."

Those are my words to live by.

a veces en la duche pienso en español...

Mon, 29 Jan 2007 02:37:01 GMT

Me duele el corazón porque no puedo comprender que ha pasó.

Thu, 14 Dec 2006 04:18:42 GMT

Brian: "Chelsea, seriously."

Is all I needed. I freak out way too much.

Sun, 29 Oct 2006 23:24:28 GMT

This past weekend was absolutely wonderful.

I keep on thinking how one day it won't be like this. One day I will be able to afford eggs and oil and butter to make cake instead of just cake mix and sprite. And one day I will have wrapping paper instead of the free newspaper. And we won't have to eat on the floor with plastic forks of the lids of Cool-Whip containers and wash the dishes in the bathroom sink with hand soap.
But for now the cake is delicious and "I love newspaper wrapping paper".

And everything is perfect.

I've been in Columbus for six weeks, but I haven't counted so maybe I'm wrong. Six weeks is how long I lived in Sweden. I wasn't homesick until the very last day because of the weirdness with the days I never knew what day it was and I would get mixed up and I thought I was going home tomorrow but really it was the day after and I don't know why I cried.

I haven't cried the whole time I've been here. There is no reason to be sad.

I feel like Pluto. All people are the planets, and I am pluto. Cold and far away and distant. Not in orbit with everyone else. Just floating along, while everyone else is aligned.
These days, though, our orbits cross more often and I feel infinitely less alone.

Apparently, I have an accent here. I don't say 'egg' or 'leg' right because I use a long a. Laaayy-g. Does not rhyme with peg.
Well, David doesn't say vanilla right. Every time he says it I burst out laughing. It's his favorite flavor too. I'll say, "I'm in the mood for Vanella", emphasizing the e he uses in it.
We (as in about six of us) practically have a whole list of words we don't agree on. Including: vanilla, coupon, leg, egg, hearth, neither, either, bad, king, syrup, cole slaw, pronunciation.

I am tired of hearing about the elevators. It makes the front page every day.
And today, as a Halloween prank, there was fake blood on the inside doors so you only saw it when they closed and you were trapped inside.
It
was
I don't know the word for it.

Thu, 26 Oct 2006 03:31:59 GMT

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I'm so frustrated. I didn't think college would be as hard as it is

and

I just want to take a break for a day.

Wed, 11 Oct 2006 03:00:04 GMT

Du bist schön.

Today was a glorious day that smelled nice and I got a good grade on my math quiz, and I was just feeling happy in general.

I think it is meant to be. Lisa, David and I. All of us. Friends.
Laying on the hammock in the night and laughing. And all of our secret places.

I could not love college any more than I do.

Tonight all the girls on our floor went out for fancy dinner and Lisa and I got drunk from the DELICIOUS water and I stole a glass.
I told her she completed me. Because, you know, of our therapy sessions in the secret couryard with David.
And she gets it.

Not IT though. I don't think she knows.

All of the girls walked back dressed up and barefoot.

Sigh. I would like to be getting ready for bed like all the other girls on my floor. But, you see, I am going for a walk.
Because there are things we need to discuss.
And then I won't be able to sleep again.

Tue, 03 Oct 2006 20:16:36 GMT

Goals for myself:

1. I am wondering if there exists a mathematical formula (which will vary, of course) to calculate at what point taking the stairs takes longer than the elevator.
I live four flights of stairs up, and I can do it pretty fast without getting tired. I know who is an elevator-taker when I walk with them by how they breathe/complain.

I am thinking you can take at least five flights of stairs and beat someone taking the elevator to the top.

I want to beat someone who lives eight floors up. I want to not be tired when I get to the top and be sitting there waiting for them to step off the elevator.
Is that ridiculous?

2. I called my dad the other day and told him that I am not going to ask him for any money. Ever. From now on.
For the rest of college, I want to pay everything myself. So far, so good. All of the money I have spent has been my own.
I am even paying for Africa this spring, and Canada this fall.

I have far more serious goals yet, but I am not ready to set them yet.

Fri, 29 Sep 2006 02:44:13 GMT

In my old journal, I once wrote about my best friend from first grade and how I haven't talked to her in over a decade. I had always wondered what happened to her.

Kiyoshi, I remember you told me about your friend and told me to let you know if I ever contacted mine.

Well, we just got into contact with each other. It's very strange... it's been so long.

Secretly, I love Facebook most of the time.

Wed, 27 Sep 2006 01:18:29 GMT

I am on the verge of becoming a crazy duck woman.

You know, like a cat lady, but with ducks.

There is a "lake", which is really a pond, called Mirror Lake close to where I live. Ducks live there. It started out with me wanting to feed the ducks. Just once.

Then I found myself eating lunch with them and sharing my food again.

And today I took bread from the cafeteria to feed them. And I found myself talking to them. Breakfast, lunch, dinner.

There are these two ducks called the cow ducks because they are black and white, like dairy cows. They are my favorites. And they're always together so I think they're in love.

So tonight I wanted to eat dinner, but had no one to go with because I have no friends. So I ate with the ducks.

So if YOU ever think you're sad and alone, think of me and I'm probably out there with my ducks and infinitely more alone.

Sat, 23 Sep 2006 15:07:46 GMT

I am nervous and scared and EXCITED.

I'm not sure I've ever felt this way before.

And I don't know what's going on.

Fri, 22 Sep 2006 21:47:43 GMT

18 and 3/4.

I don't really hate the fall. It's kind of nice in it's own special way. I made this entry just to apologize to the season.

Thu, 21 Sep 2006 22:29:35 GMT

College is wonderful. My roommate is lovely and she's so nice. Most of the time, though, I walk around with the girl from across the hall or by myself.

Everyone is so nice. It makes it a lot easier.

Our campus is very picturesque. I have a job in the building next to my residence hall that is old and beautiful and covered in ivy. The building I live in is the oldest residence hall on campus, so it has a lot of character. In fact, it's best I've of all the ones I've seen. It's old, but not ugly, and not too modern that it's boring. The view from our window is an amazing courtyard that's never too crowded.

My classes are big. I don't even want to say how big, but it doesn't bother me.

Last Saturday I got to go to my first ever college football game. It was interesting. 105,037 or so people were there. And I must admit, I've never seen that many people at once. It's crazy. I imagine it will be even crazier this weekend. But it's football. I can't sit there and concentrate the game for howevermany hours.

I've been to the bad part of the city for community service, which was interesting. I might write about it another time.

Basically, basically, that's it for now. A lot has been going on but I'm not sure how to write about it so I'm just writing.

Fri, 15 Sep 2006 12:58:40 GMT

My dreams have been interesting lately, if very classically dream-like.

Last night I dreamed that I was in a dark hall (I can't remember what I was doing now because the events to follow were infinitely more interesting) and at the end of the hall there was a gigantic tank filled with sea cows. Manatees. The people around me were suddenly of no importance. I left them to go swim with the manatees. It was very eerie. The lighting was very dim and purple-ish. The water was very deep and I swam around, terrified that I would land on one of the manatees. This went on for some time. A girl was with me, and then she was gone. The manatees lined up in a special ring around the edge so they could swim past the children. [Imagine something like Sea World....]. The children were petting them as they swam past, from the outside of the tank; I was doing the same from the inside. Their skin was very rough.
A baby manatee bit my hand, but I wasn't angry.

I got out of the tank, because there were people all around now. Alyssa came and got her sisters, then left. Jennie ran up to me. Rachel and Brian and Kayla were there. The four of them, plus Ben, came to my house. There was a lot of conflict; unresolved issues we have in real life came up. I said, "wait a minute. Where's Brian?". For a minute no one knew. It was dark, and I was thinking that he better have not gone home. Jennie suddenly remembered, "he's out watching the sun rise" (as if this is always something he does). So I looked out my living room window and he was out on a bench watching the sun rise and I said we should leave him alone.

Then the real sun started to rise. My body must not want to sleep 12 hours anymore, so I woke up.
I was debating whether it was an archetypal dream or an everyday one. It's not the first time I've dreamed about swimming in water or even manatees. So I thought it was everyday, just because those things happen to me in real life.

Yesterday Diane (mercat) and I were talking about the Myers-Briggs type indicator.
Have any of you ever taken it?

I took it two years ago. I scored INTP.
The online version: http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes1.htm

Although, when you take the real thing, you have to sign consent forms, and the psychologist who gives it to you has to follow certain rules. I think the directions say to not think about your answers too much.
The online also scored me as INTP.

So take the test and tell me what you scored. It will give me something to read and think about.
Everything else you need to know is here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Myers-Briggs